Our Gorgeous (wretched) World

(I know its dead here, but maybe this will bring a smile to someone!)

Today we celebrate our Independence from evil Turkey-Overlords that tried to dominate this great nation! Sure the battle was hard fought, many people bravely sacrificed their lives. But in the end is it not better to be free from Fowl Oppressors? Are we not glad that in 1621 our ancestors put up a fight worthy of remembrance? Ah yes, brave Kermit, Frog warrior from France, The mighty Kung-Fu Panda that took time from his railroad building, Shrek, “Hello Kitty” for constant moral support. Jokie Smurf and his present bombs that confounded turkey militia leaders, Ronald McDonald and his work feeding and tending to the wounded on the front lines. Why even Mr. Potato head for being the first successful prosthetic surgery in the western world.

Ah yes Thanksgiving Day! The day where we told Poultry kind who the dominant species was going to be in this new land! So Yes! Go ahead and broil, boil, bake, steam or fry the ancestors of our greatest enemy, the fiends behind the first great war fought over these New American Lands! And when you raise a glass high over the slain carcasses of turkeys that might have one day gotten the idea into the gobblie wobblie little minds to rise up again! Know that we are safe for Spider-man, Sponge-Bob, and even the all powerful Pillsbury Dough-Boy are still patrolling this great nation should any turkey ever warble and bare arms against human (or float) kind again....

Thank you Macy's for remembering this great day in history as it truly happened, and for heralding to us likeness's of these often misremembered heroes of the great turkey uprising! Eat well and as you pass the stuffing, remember that if it wasn’t for these brave musket wielding men, women, and cartoons of our ancient past that this great nation would instead have been known as “The Independent Republic of Turkania”